They never stop...
1) Do you have a registry?
1a) What? Why not?
Because I work. My husband works. We sit at computers all day long. The last thing we want to do is spend more time on the computer looking for stuff for some baby.
2) Okaaay....well...do you have any names picked out? Any ideas for names?
The official answer is no, we have no names picked out. Sure we have ideas, but nothing set in stone. When the baby is born, we'll let you know the name.
3) Fine. Sheesh. So you have they baby's room ready, right?
My husband's brother asked this question last night. When mi esposo said no, brother put forth friends who have a baby also due in April as an example. They already have the nursery ready. My husband assured his concerned brother that we can always put the baby in a box with some clothing for bedding. (I couldn't have answered it any better!)
It's January, folks. Baby's due in April. Honestly, God forbid I go into labor tomorrow, the child will be sleeping in the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) until April, not its alloted bedroom. So we'll save the room prep until March, if that's not too neglectful for the rest of you.
4) How are you doing?
Back to tired and achy. The heated pool helps, but sleeping in a full bed that sits low to the ground does not. I've been saying for months we need a new, bigger bed. I was sure of that when I slept in my friend's queen sized bed in December. My husband is now sure of it because I've moved into the living room to sleep on the futon.
This will sound completely crazy, but there are too many people touching me! The baby's moving inside, my husband's right next to me when we sleep. Come April my body will be a milk machine plus carrier. I already feel like a minivan. I don't know what it means to have personal space anymore- maybe I never will again. The futon is the same size as our bed, but it's too firm, so I'm still waking up with a stiff back and hips. But at least I don't need help getting out of it, and I can lay in it without touching another human being.
5) When's the shower?
March, sometime. Still looking for place and trying to figure out food. It's hard for me to be excited because all my family is in NYC, so I am sure that not many of them will come to Phila, especially since we're planning more of a party than baby shower. Not even half my relatives came to our wedding picnic in New Jersey (and I'm not counting my dad's family, which I've pretty much divorced, cuz dem folks is crazy!) And Phila is so much further than Central Jersey, so I'll understand that it's too far away for them to come, right?
I guess I should end this on a more upbeat note. Aha! A security guard at my job asked me "How far are you going?" while I'm signing in for the day. We had just finished talking about getting a ride from a co-worker last night, so I thought she meant "where do you live?" I also don't like talking to her for longer than a minute, and this conversation was pushing a minute twenty seconds*, so I was ready to respond "I'm going to the corner store!" But she just started back to work, so I swallowed my sarcasm and asked her what she meant, and she said she meant how many months along I am. Then she asked if I'd ever heard that phrase before. I answered "No, I've heard 'how far along are you', but not 'how far are you going.'
Has anyone heard this phrasing before when referring to a pregnancy?
*I know it's mean, but you all (should) realize by now I'm not a nice person. This woman is nice, but she talks too much, and it's hard for me to maintain a conversation with her. I'm sorry.
Can't you just picture me as a warm, caring, patient mother, serving warm chocolate chip cookies and milk to my doting child on a blustery winter's night? Heh heh heh...