Saturday, April 16, 2011

It's Our Anniversary (almost)

Tallu has been weaned since I think April 19, 2010. I am amazed that, a year later, she is still emotionally attached to my boobies. If she catches a glimpse of them, she's giddy. Sometimes she'll realize how close she is to them if she's sitting on my lap or if I'm holding her on my hip and she will start to rub them. If I were to ask her today: "Do you want some milkies?" she would rip my shirt off and latch on like she hadn't been fed in months! There have been a few days where she's asked me: "Can I have milk from your milkies?"

I have explained to her several times that, when her baby brother comes home, he will have milkies because he's a baby. The same way she had milkies when she was a baby. Now that she's a big kid, she gets to eat food and drink milk from a cup(strawberry milk, even!)That makes her feel good, for now.

I wonder when we're home and I'm nursing #2, how will Tallu react? I don't think I should have to hide nursing time from her, but I also don't want her to feel abandoned. If he's anything like his sister, he'll be a little boobaholic, too! I have no answers, and I don't expect you readers out there to have hints and suggestions on this situation, although that would be so helpful to me...

Week 30 Visit, or, "Freak Out!"

The good news is that the baby's heartbeat is steady. My fundus is measuring within the normal range, and I've only gained about nine pounds during this pregnancy. Unfortunately I was twenty pounds more than I should weigh when I became pregnant, but that's my problem. How much do I weigh, you may wonder? *sigh* 149 lbs. I know it's not really any of your business, but if I see the number it may motivate me post-partum to return to a weight more manageable for my 5'2" frame to carry.

So why am I freaking out? My regular midwife is currently on maternity leave, so I am now seeing Barb, the head of the practice. She asks if I have any questions, so I mention to her that we have a family vacation scheduled for July 8.

She winces, then asks for my due date. I tell her, and Barb gets out the wheel of fortune, that little disk that estimates due dates. The concern, she continues, is that the latest I could give birth is July 7 (at 42 weeks). Also, if the baby comes right on schedule, I'd be only two weeks post-partum. This is the riskiest time for a woman in terms of bleeding and complications. Plus, I'd be riding a commercial train with a two week old baby, exposing him to all kinds of germs. Barb says she'd feel more comfortable with me having the baby a month earlier for both our sakes. She mentioned induction, but would not want to do it for convenience's sake.

I recognize that I have absolutely no control over when this child comes, unless I want to schedule an induction, which I don't. I told my husband's mom that I will plan a fake baby shower, so this baby will come out on that date. (It worked last time.) Of course I don't want this one to come as early as Tallu, but Memorial Day Weekend marks 37 weeks. I keep saying I can go into labor anytime after May 31, preferably the first two weeks of June.

It is also true that I could skip the vacation. In theory. My husband's brother and family are flying from Washington, his sister and her family are flying from Wisconsin. I would feel horrible to miss another family event (I missed his brother's West Coast wedding nearly four years ago because of a last minute change in the exhibit schedule at work.) Tallu would not see all her cousins, aunts and uncles. My husband would not see his siblings, niece, and nephews. It would be nice for everyone to meet the newest member of the family. I'm putting the guilt trip on myself. I give my blessing to my husband and Tallu to go without us if I happened to deliver on time or later, but he insists that's not an option.

It's all out of my hands. No use stressing myself. Wu Wei.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Week 29

I am 29 weeks pregnant, no gestational diabetes as you know, and all the baby's vital signs are good. I am increasingly more uncomfortable. I mentioned at my last appointment that I was having trouble finding a comfortable sleeping position, and that I felt most comfortable on my back. My midwife said that if I am in a position the baby doesn't like, he will kick. That'll wake me up, and I will adjust myself. If I am on my back and am not short of breath, then be comfortable. Get some pillows to prop myself up, or a body pillow to sleep with while I'm on my side. Last pregnancy I was glad when we upgraded from the full mattress to a queen. We certainly can't afford to upgrade to a king, but I think we will have to move our leather reclining chair to the bedroom so that I can sleep on it. I'll look like a Craftmatic adjustable chair commercial. Hey-do they still make those?

We have secured Tallu's grandmaman to watch Tallu at the birthing center when the time comes. It's a great worry off our minds- she's close by, she's been through two natural childbirths herself, so she wouldn't freak out by anything she hears in the next room, and Tallu likes spending time with her. I told her that I should set up a fake baby shower so that he will come on the day of that shower (she got a good laugh). Now I just have to prepare Tallu for what happens to mommy during labor. Don't laugh, but I was watching Oprah a few weeks ago when she had Phil Donahue as a guest. He talked about the episode where he showed a live home birth, and the three year old daughter who screamed "It's a puppy!" when her sibling arrived. So it's possible for little children to be there and not be traumatized. I also know that Tallu may not want to be anywhere near, so I must prepare for all contingencies.

I should also note that I am 147lbs, which is devastating. I hate weighing myself and having to see that number, then report to my midwife. I imagine by the end of this pregnancy I will weigh in the 150s. It is completely my fault for not losing the weight between pregnancies, and I am vowing to myself that I will start to work off the baby weight once my midwife gives the green light for exercise. Just no running, I hate running.

What's New with Tallu!

In this issue:

Potty Training
Bedtime Rituals
Cats and Dogs are Fun (again)

BIRTHDAY!!! Tallu is three years, nine days old today. She had three little celebrations instead of the massive birthday party: a dinner party at Grandmaman and Papa's house, with her aunt, uncle, godfather, and cousin; blueberry pancakes with candles in them and a shopping trip on her actual birthday, and lunch with her Grandpa and Nana on Saturday. All celebrations were exciting for her, as she received gifts at each. I enjoyed the birthday breakfast because we ate at the same cafe where the baby shower was held. Thanks to everyone who celebrated and recognized our child's birthday!

Potty Training I think we're doing well on this front. Tallu wears panties during the day, and Pull-Ups at night. There have even been a few nights that she's woken up to pee. She gets herself to the potty in time, even for bowel movements. A friend cautioned that once number two gets here there may be a regression, which I pray doesn't happen. I've already lived through the Thanksgiving regression, and it's taken this long to recover. We took the train to NJ for the birthday dinner, and I realized too late that Tallu was wearing panties for the two hour trip. She also fell asleep on the longest leg of the trip. I prayed that she wouldn't pee in her sleep, and she did wake up dry. I'm glad I made her use the potty before we left the house, and that Trenton's train station has a public bathroom.

Bedtime Rituals Sometimes she goes to sleep without a fight, sometimes she does the run into the room after tuck-in. The worst are the inexplicable 3 am wake-ups that last for two hours. If she wakes up at 5 and can't get back to sleep, I will turn on a light in her room and let her play for a little while- she's awake, but she's contained in her room so her dad and I can sleep. That's harder to justify at 2 or 3 in the morning. One night she woke up complaining of leg pain, but hasn't done that since. Who knows what the hell is going on. Maybe she's being prepared for the random wake-up times her little brother will have?

Cats and Dogs are Fun (again) We drove to Connecticut to visit with Tallu's great-grandfather last Sunday, a week after his third wife, (Tallu called her Gubby), died peacefully in her sleep from cancer. We spent time at the house before going into town for lunch, where Tallu sat on the floor and played with a doll house. Gubby and Papa B are animal lovers, and there are four cats in the house. I took her around to say hi to all the cats- Tallu giggled and waved, no tears were shed. She was even sitting on the floor playing with a doll house when the youngest cat, Mittens, came to see what was happening. Tallu kept on playing. She did not freak out when he sniffed at her, and even gave Mittens the little Elmo toy to play with. Gubby would have been very pleased to see that; Papa B, Tallu's dad and I enjoyed it very much. This bodes well for the future, because her dad and I would like to have a cat in this house, as soon as we clean this place up and can afford to take care of two children AND a cat...

Tallu's even doing better with her big dog friend, Doolin. Doolin's doggy parents and I joke that it's ridiculous that they don't get along better, since they are so much alike. Sunday Doolin was excited to see Tallu and jumped in her face to sniff and lick Tallu. There were no shrieks of terror! I think Tallu even called Doolin to her, and Doolin looked at her doggy mom and me as if to say "Can I really go over there?" I said "Yes, Doolin, you can go. She's fine!" Sure enough, doggy and toddler were, indeed, fine.

Well, that's all I can think of...