Week 30 Visit, or, "Freak Out!"

The good news is that the baby's heartbeat is steady. My fundus is measuring within the normal range, and I've only gained about nine pounds during this pregnancy. Unfortunately I was twenty pounds more than I should weigh when I became pregnant, but that's my problem. How much do I weigh, you may wonder? *sigh* 149 lbs. I know it's not really any of your business, but if I see the number it may motivate me post-partum to return to a weight more manageable for my 5'2" frame to carry.

So why am I freaking out? My regular midwife is currently on maternity leave, so I am now seeing Barb, the head of the practice. She asks if I have any questions, so I mention to her that we have a family vacation scheduled for July 8.

She winces, then asks for my due date. I tell her, and Barb gets out the wheel of fortune, that little disk that estimates due dates. The concern, she continues, is that the latest I could give birth is July 7 (at 42 weeks). Also, if the baby comes right on schedule, I'd be only two weeks post-partum. This is the riskiest time for a woman in terms of bleeding and complications. Plus, I'd be riding a commercial train with a two week old baby, exposing him to all kinds of germs. Barb says she'd feel more comfortable with me having the baby a month earlier for both our sakes. She mentioned induction, but would not want to do it for convenience's sake.

I recognize that I have absolutely no control over when this child comes, unless I want to schedule an induction, which I don't. I told my husband's mom that I will plan a fake baby shower, so this baby will come out on that date. (It worked last time.) Of course I don't want this one to come as early as Tallu, but Memorial Day Weekend marks 37 weeks. I keep saying I can go into labor anytime after May 31, preferably the first two weeks of June.

It is also true that I could skip the vacation. In theory. My husband's brother and family are flying from Washington, his sister and her family are flying from Wisconsin. I would feel horrible to miss another family event (I missed his brother's West Coast wedding nearly four years ago because of a last minute change in the exhibit schedule at work.) Tallu would not see all her cousins, aunts and uncles. My husband would not see his siblings, niece, and nephews. It would be nice for everyone to meet the newest member of the family. I'm putting the guilt trip on myself. I give my blessing to my husband and Tallu to go without us if I happened to deliver on time or later, but he insists that's not an option.

It's all out of my hands. No use stressing myself. Wu Wei.