Tuesday, September 22, 2009

What's New with Tallu

Tallu is officially a toddler. Her great-grandparents Hull bought her a crib that converts to a toddler bed, then a full size bed. I decided that, since she is a proficient walker, it was time to move on from the crib. It has resulted in much happier mornings for both mother and daughter. When she's up for the day, she climbs out of bed, opens her door, walks down the hall to our bedroom, and says "Hi!" She's only fallen out of bed once, just a few days ago. She has woken up in the middle of the night thanks to teething, but she really likes not sleeping behind bars.

Tallu has also figured out how to climb down the stairs alone. She climbs backwards, which is pretty safe way to descend. Now that she's in the toddler bed, the gate stays at the top of the stairs during the night. There's no light in the hallway, and I don't want her falling down the stairs. The only time the gate is down is when I am downstairs for an extended period of time, and she's downstairs with me. She is enjoying her increased mobility.

More teeth are errupting, the molars this time. First the left side, top and bottom, now the right side is starting. It still hurts.

She's also learning more body parts, and she reads to herself and her toys. Tallu is also learning to say her name, animal sounds, and PattyCake (Yeah, I know it's Pat-A-Cake, but that's how I said it as a kid, so there.) She's still wary of dogs, and she's slowly learning how to play with other children. I have to get her around other children more often...

We are starting the weaning process. Tallu is eating more, enjoying cow juice (plain and strawberry), and if we go out of the house, she nurses less. I say this, but now that she's cutting teeth, the nursing has increased a bit. What's it like nursing a teething toddler? Not as scary as some of you think, especially since she learned a while ago biting gets her nothing. Teeth are coming in new places, and I think she adjusts her pressure to alleviate her pain, which means my nipples are not as numb as they used to be. But it's nothing like in the beginning of the nursing phase.

Tallu is 18 months on the 29th. Many people have said it's time for me to stop nursing. Then again, people said that once she started cutting teeth. I'm taking a cue from my good friend in Seattle- I give her the milkies when she asks, and sometimes I will say no, like if I know she's doing it because she's hungry. I always joked that when a child can say "I want booby," it's time to stop. Now that Tallu can say "milkies" as well as sign it, AND get the milkies out of my shirt, I guess it's the beginning of the end. Besides, I am amused that she's figured out how to pull my shirt down just enough to get to the nipple, even though she hates fabric in her face...

More updates as the growing continues!

Saturday, September 19, 2009

...and Obey!

Last Wednesday my family went on a hike in the White Mountains with friends. It was a vertical ascent, rocky at times, but not terribly difficult. I like the outdoors, but I don't like these types of hikes. I'm more of a distance person-I don't care how beautiful the moutain peaks look from up anywhere, and I don't like climbing up, because that means I have to climb down. Anyhoo- what I really wanted to do Wednesday was sit in the main house, read a book or two, take a nap, listen to music, be alone. No child to look after, no husband to cater to, just enjoy quality time with me, something I haven't done in a long time.

I didn't say all that to my husband Wednesday morning. I said something like "I want to stay here for the day." My husband didn't think that was a good idea, and bargained with me: I could have Saturday AND Sunday to myself if I went on the hike Wednesday. Saturday was bullshit-I already had that day to go see a theater performance, and Sunday I (try to) take Tallu and myself to church, so I didn't see how that was much of a deal. What, I get my Sunday off after I take my kid to church? Then it's not a day off, see? None of that matters, really. What I wanted was to enjoy a few moments of solitude in a relaxing place, which I had right there under my feet. What I got was a rocky climb up a mountain, aching knees and feet, and a sweaty back, and plenty of time to think, since neither of us spoke to each other in the car or on the mountain unless necessary.

I could have said no, I want to stay here, and I'm staying. My husband would have been disappointed and upset, but I would have had my relaxing day. He would have still had his hike up White Mountain with people who really wanted to be there. Everybody wins.

I chose to go on the hike to make my husband happy, to keep marital accord. My husband is the sole financial provider for the family. He drove us eight hours to get to Maine, and everywhere else we went while on vacation. If he wants me to go on the hike, I thought, the least I can do is go. I had this great line I wanted to spit at my husband in the imaginary conversation I had with him in my head, something like: "You know, I'm really sorry that you don't value my time as much as I value yours." I thought it was such a zinger, until I realized that, by choosing to go, I was the one who devalued my time.

Ugh, I feel so stupid. No, I feel like I'm in my parent's house again. The household axiom was "When you pay the bills, you can do what you want." No bill paying on this end, so there goes my power. It is an awful way to feel, and I can't believe I've allowed myself to feel like this. Stupid and powerless, of my own accord. When did I become this woman?

ps- no, i didn't get saturday off. i did get to go to the show, however, so i got an hour and a half or so "to myself."

Friday, September 4, 2009

Scenes from Franklin Park 9/3/09

The kid in the pink jumper is Tallu. The girl in the white shirt is J, who adopted Tallu on the playground. She watched Tallu playing for a few minutes, then decided that she would play with Tallu. Everything J did Tallu tried, or wanted to try, anyway. It was very touching to see J's generosity and Tallu's willingness to trust another person.

Imagine Tallu descending this wall...she did it twice, no three times. The third time she missed the wall completely, landing on her feet as though nothing dangerous just happened. J's father was watching and couldn't believe that 1-Tallu did the wall, and 2- I let her do it. But J was doing it, so it must be fun, right?

She's been walking for three weeks, and already she's playing on the big kid's toys. An older girl suggested that she move from the other side, which was a backless bench. Children are pretty perceptive...