Thursday, July 31, 2008 lieu of payment

I'm not one for poetry, but I do love a good haiku. It was a second grade English lesson, and it is my favorite poetry to write to this day. What does this have to do with first-time motherhood, you ask?

(Why are you reading over my shoulder, jackass)
[Sorry, the husband's being nosey. He just asked if that's staying in...]

Back to haiku...I was at work when my cell phone rang. The ID flashed "Restricted," so I didn't answer. I know it's a bill collector calling, but there's only so many times I can say:

"I was on 12 weeks unpaid maternity leave...oh, thank you [the collector just congratulated me]... I just returned to work in the middle of a pay period, and I now have three cents in my account, so I won't be able to send you anything until the first of the month."

So I was thinking I should compose a haiku for my outgoing voicemail message.
How's this?

I know I owe you
I work for a non-profit
You earn more than me

Or what about this?

Bills are overdue?
When I got it you'll get it
The best I can do

Third time's the charm...

Hi, bill collector
I have no money for you
Now have a nice day

Will it work? I'll let you know :-)

1 comment:

The Nosey Jackass (husband) said...

I like the second one the best - nice and to the point, and with rhyming first and last lines. I just checked and my direct deposit is there, so I can actually tell anyone who calls today that I can pay them, or at least those who call first.