It's Full Disclosure Time

I'm giving up on the scroll down business. You know the deal by now.

I woke up about 4 this morning to go pee. I started to go and stopped just as suddenly, which I thought was weird. I waited a few seconds, nothing. As soon as I stood up the floodgates opened. No, my water did not break. My guess is the baby's position stopped the flow when I sat down. So I guess when I really gotta go I'll have to stand over the bowl. Great...

My husband and I had a very informative midwifery appointment last Thursday. The head midwife let the trainee explain perineal massage. I got all excited cuz I thought she asked if I had any prenatal massage, which I did that Monday. They are NOT the same thing!

The perineum is at the base of the vagina. You're supposed to lube your thumb or fingers (or some willing participant lubes their fingers) and inserts them just inside, pressing down towards the rectum and gently rubbing side to side. This is to help stretch the perineun in preparation for labor and for prevention of episiotomy (cutting the skin between the rectum and vagina) and tearing.

The trainee was a little coy during the explanation, and the head midwife was getting a little frustrated and took over. Midwife says the practice is controversial, in that there have been no studies to prove its effectiveness, and there are mammals (the horse was her example) that expel big babies from their bodies without doing perineal massage. The choice is ours. She also said having sex will pretty much do the same thing, but was quick to say that perineal massage is not sexual- the pressure stings and when you do it right you should feel like you have to poop. Some people get off on that, I reckon - I ain't one of 'em... I also can't see my crotch, and can barely wash it standing in the shower. Forget being able to perform perineal massage on myself now lying down. I'm a mere mortal woman, not a Vivid Girl.

Then again, my doula has a yogi friend who says she was "on her junk daily" doing this perineal massage and did not tear at all during child birth. So there ya go!

Yes, I can still see my feet, but I had to buy another maternity dress to wear. The baby gets upset if I sit for too long and the jean skirt I used to wear every day is now too tight. I'm 34 and a half weeks and now is when the baby grows a half pound every week. It's very difficult to get out of bed, especially when I have to break the seal at 3 in the morning. My bladder is so full that it sometimes hurts to get up. It's the pressure of the baby, that's all.

That is all. Not so bad that time, was it?