Saturday, November 1, 2008

More Children?

I don't know why I thought questions about family planning would stop after I gave birth to my daughter. The next question is: "When are you going to have another one?" I've noticed it's never "Are you going to have another one", because why would you only want one child? My answer used to be that we're having another one in about two years. But after the week I had last week, I'm not so sure.

I agreed to babysit a friend's child- her baby is seven months older than mine. We both figured since he knew me the transition from mommy all day to someone else all day would be easier on him. cried for hours the first day, only stopping to eat breakfast. I would try to console him, but just as I calmed him down, I'd have to nurse Tallu. He's also a breastfed baby, and the sight of my baby nursing sent him into a tailspin. I got him to sleep by taking him and Tallu for a stroll around town. But after lunch he cried some more, and if I was holding my baby he wouldn't come near me, screaming at the top of his lungs.

Tuesday went a little better, but only because my husband worked from home, so my charge had a devoted playmate for a little while. His joy lasted until my husband sequestered himself in the living room to work. My husband, Tallu, and I went to bed exhausted.

Wednesday through Friday he cried and screamed a little less, but was clearly unhappy. It was a hard adjustment for him, going from having mommy's undivided attention and milk on demand, to me having to juggle two babies, and him having to see the other little baby get booby. I was worn, he and Tallu couldn't keep each other company, and Tallu wasn't sleeping much during the day. I was sorry I couldn't help my friend for longer, but I thought it would be better for both babies if I didn't keep him.

His mom and I talked every day, and the one thing that baffled us is how women have children so close in age. I was beginning to wonder I could handle more than one child period, let alone two close in age. I think I'd like to enjoy Tallu alone for a few more years. Maybe when she's going to pre-k I'll be ready for number two. It's not the two to three year gap my husband and I have talked about, but we'll see.

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