Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Tell/Don't Tell

I attended a staff meeting yesterday, at the conclusion of which a co-worker offered a public congratulations to me on my pregnancy. My response? Not "thank you", because why would I be so gracious? I said: "Oh, whatever." She went on to explain that women are rarely congratulated on this event. The director of administration stops her and asks: "Wait, is she pregnant? Oh, are you? I didn't know." Here's me, again: "That's because I hadn't told you!"

Why am I so obnoxious? Because it's really none of your business that I am pregnant until I tell you, that's why. I work at a very small organization, and people seem to think we're a family. Some of my coworkers thinks it's written in the contract that we have to share personal information.
Example: a male co-worker insisted that I was pregnant. I looked him right in his face and said no because I wasn't ready to tell. Frankly I wasn't sleeping with him, he's not my boss, what business is it of his? Then when I couldn't hide it any more, he gloats in his omniscience, and tells me not to be mad at him because on the continent where he was raised, men love to see pregnant women. I said: "If you men had to carry babies I bet you wouldn't be so happy then, would you?" Now I was "speaking in parables", he replied and he didn't understand what I was saying.

"Shut the fuck up", unfortunately, was not the translation I could give him, since we were at work. But he definitely understood, because he doesn't talk much to me anymore LOL

People seem to think that because you look pregnant everyone deserves to know if it's true. Look at Christina Aguilera and Jennifer Lopez. They look pregnant, but they've made no announcements, and I can't blame them. I'm not related to them, it's really none of my business.

Now I have people pulling me out of the way of dollies, not letting me perform certain duties at work that are not unsafe, all because they are concerned for my fetus' safety. I've been outed to the HR director before I'm ready to do it myself by a woman who thought she was being nice. All because I'm showing and figured there was no point in lying if I was asked anymore.

If you're not ready to tell people who are not your friends or family, don't. There's no law saying you have to divulge this info. When you do and they ask why you didn't say anything sooner, use my answer: "I figure if we're not friends, it's none of your business." Sometimes parables don't work :-D

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