I quit my job today.
Let's take a moment to let that settle...
I spent the weekend in the Poconos with four friends and their children. We all had a good time, but there came a point Saturday night where I had to put Tallu to bed. I could have nursed her, set her down, and rejoined the party (which I heard was mad fun, yo), but I chose to turn in with her. Why? First, we were sleeping away from home, and I wanted to make sure she slept. Second, when she woke up at her usual feeding times, I would have to get up with her. That would have been a bit tougher if I stayed up to hang out with the crew. I chose to meet my child's needs instead of playing fun drinking games until 4 in the morning. This was a wise decision, because Milady decided to wake up at 6:45 Sunday morning, smiling and ready to play.
By the end of the weekend I had spent a lot of time with my baby, and I was heartbroken that Monday morning I would have to leave her. I was not at all pleased with the daycare she was in, and I couldn't bear to send her anymore. Her dad and I toured a center a block from work, and although it was better place, it just wasn't good enough. These women were not me, and no one could take better care of my Tallu better than I. So, why am I putting my baby in someone else's hands?
I told my husband I want to stay home with Tallu, and he said okay. The budget would be tight, but I was prepared to go in today to give my two weeks notice. This morning- 5 am, actually- she woke up congested, coughing, and crying. I had to suck the snot out of her nose with the aspirator. All the while I'm thinking "Okay, I'm not sending her to daycare today, I've got to get her to the doctor, and I'm giving them my notice today."
This was definitely not my most professional moment, but Tallulah is my number one priority. I promised my daughter that I would never put my job before her again, after pushing a flatbed from the basement to the first floor elevator at 36 weeks. I broke that promise when I put her in a daycare that displeased me to fulfill my contract for this organization. Consider my resignation as an apology to Tallu.