That's Why You Don't Open Gifts at the Party

It took Tallu several hours to open her gifts and cards because she wanted to play with every gift, look at every card, and try on every piece of clothing. There was not a single gift that did not pique her interest, and she was grateful and excited for each one. Our living room was a makeshift toy store for nearly a week.

We appreciate everyone who came to celebrate our daughter's second birthday, and we promise not to have such a hullaballoo next year, or the year after that! My husband explained why this party became such a big deal: I was making up for missing the baby shower and for having such a small celebration for birthday #1 (we moved to the new house around the same time). I think we will have to start preparing for take some of her little friends out to play, because hosting a do-it-yourself party is too much for for us lazy folks.

If you'd like to see a video of some of the entertainment at Tallu's birthday party, copy and paste this link to your browser

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sL5KDSGd0sw

as you watch this, picture Tallu asleep with large, pink headphones on her ears, which is exactly what she did for most of the performance

Winding Down

Tallu is on to us...

We're trying to wean her. Yes, I just typed "we." This is a serious team effort. Daddy has no milkies, so when it comes to bedtime, he has to take her away, and I have to be busy doing something. It isn't always a smooth transition, especially if she catches a glimpse of me. She goes down at night without the milkies, but she makes up for it on the backend. Today, she woke up at 5:30 to come into our bed for milkies. Yesterday I think it was 6 or 6:30.

I wanted this post to be a bit longer, but I can't think I'm so tired...

Divine Intervention, or How I Found A Babysitter

We attend the 8 o'clock service, which is a very intimate worship. No choir, and on average there are six adults, including our rector, and rarely an acolyte. But this particular Sunday, Lisa, an acolyte, was asked to speak about stewardship at 8am. Tallu likes Autumn and Lisa, our teenaged acolytes, and she was excited to see Lisa that morning. Lisa mentioned that she had babysat children before, but I was hesitant about leaving my child with any teenager. She's a sweet high schooler, and looks how I imagine Tallu will look when she grows older.

After we exchanged the Peace of the Lord and made our offering to the Lord, the celebration of the Eucharist began. Tallu has been to church often enough to know that you go to the front of the church during this time, so she immediately went to the front rail to kneel. Before I could get her, Lisa saw where Tallu was going, followed her to the front rail, even though she was not serving as an acolyte, and knelt with my daughter.

And that's when I knew we could trust Lisa with Tallu!

Lisa did babysit two weeks later, and it went well. Lisa had fun, Tallu had fun, my husband and I had fun away from Tallu! We now have a date night babysitter, whenever we have a chance to have another date night...

You Know It's Time to Stop Breatfeeding When...

your child screams "I want milkies!" during church?

your child can pull down the neckline of your shirt, pull your bra to the side and lunge at what little bit of nipple is showing, while she's standing on a chair in the kitchen, as you're stirring cookie batter?

you ask your child to stop nursing because you have to get off the bus, and she says "uhn-uhn" while she's nursing, so you now have to carry her two blocks to Capogiro (she pops off only when you ask her if she wants ice cream) ?

Today is March 18. In eleven days, Tallu will be two years old. We're still nursing. There was a time when I wasn't sure if Tallu and I could do this breast feeding thing. Now I don't know if we (rather, if she) can stop. I've talked to her about the milkies coming to an end, and she shakes her head yes, but I don't think she grasps what that means. I've told myself that once all her teeth are in, we are fucking done! Some women have said to me the minute a tooth dropped that should have been the end of it all. Sometimes Tallu can take no for an answer. But the other times... what Lula wants, Lula gets... and if she wants milkies...good Lord, just whip it out!

It's a battle of will. Who will win? Ultimately, me. But I need reinforcements...

The Visit

Our two year old niece has been visiting with us since the end of February, due to circumstances very much beyond her control. She's had lots of fun with us on her first trip outside of NYC. She's seen deer. She's been sledding, snowshoeing, bike riding, skateboarding, belly dancing, tamborim playing, and tumbling, and napping. The first weekend she was here I told her we'd take lots of pictures and make a photo book about her trip to Philadelphia to show her parents. She will have many pictures to choose from for her album. I hope she'll have some fun memories to share with her parents, older brother, and anyone else who will listen to her.

Her older brother gave her some warning about her aunt and uncle: "They won't beat you or anything, but you will be tired." We had an almost three-hour standoff with him and some green beans, which he requested for dinner, then decided he didn't want them. (Oh, he ate them!) She's certainly tried our patience over these weeks, but I think we've made an impression on her. There have been no beatings, but many time-outs. I even had to put her on time-out today while we were at the play cafe. I told her in the bathroom when she caught an attitude with me that "I can find you a time-out wall anywhere." Mary Poppins has saved me on many other occasions. The best line to end a back and forth with a smart-mouthed kid? "You know best, as usual." My niece usually replies, "no," but the discussion is over. LOVE IT!

When she came to our house she was sleeping with a bottle at night, not taking naps, wearing a diaper, and angry (and I don't mean "Terrible Two's" angry). She hasn't drank from a bottle since about day two. She now naps- she cries about it, but she's usually the first asleep. She's wearing a pull-up to bed at night, and we are actively potty-training. She still has a temper, but I think I'm better at diffusing it, and it flares much less often. My niece really likes this tumbling class, in which I enrolled Tallu well before I knew her cousin would be staying with us for an entire month. She's got great balance, and not much fear for an almost three year old.

Now that we know she accepts us as authority figures, we plan to bring her down for shorter overnight visits. We love her, attitude and all, and she trusts us. But this chick is going back to Brooklyn the minute Tallu's bday party is over, you hear me? And we are not having a second child anytime soon... I am nowhere near ready to take care of children so close in age and developmental stages.

So, how's the potty training going?

The storm of '10 is here, so I will divide my time between trolling Facebook and here....

Tallu likes her potty, but has made no deposits in it. She has also sat on the toilet (someone gave us a booster seat for her a while ago); no deposits there, either. I guess the good news is that she knows what the toilet and the potty are for, and she is not afraid of either one. There's no bad news, since I'm not forcing her to do anything, and she's not leaving puddles and piles on the floor.

How am I doing?

I wonder if being a stay at home mother is really working. Am I doing enough with Tallulah? Would she learn more if she were in a daycare situation? How do I know if being home with me really is best? Here are random stories I wanted to share, my own little motivational speech for myself, I guess...

My friend, Andi, told a group of women about our daughters' play date Halloween night. The girls were having fun, but decided that hitting each other was part of that fun. Andi and I told our girls not to hit, we don't hurt our friends. I remembered that Tallu had learned how to give high fives. So I said to the girls, "You can't hit, but you can give each other a high five. Tallulah, let's teach Cimmy how to give high fives!" The women all said "Oooh, that's great! That's so smart!" (Thank you, Yo Gabba Gabba, for teaching my kid about high fives.)

Tallu has four teeth coming through at once, and she's on me constantly. This Sunday she and her daddy went to drumming class without me so that I could have some time off from being a teething toy. Daddy went prepared with teething gel and applied some to his uncomfortable daughter. Instead of her usual lip smacking and announcing "all done," she said: "I preciate it, thank you."

My daughter and I took a trip to NYC a few months ago. We did it the long way, from the R7, the Northeast Corridor, to the LIRR. She slept for the ride into Trenton, but I had to occupy us from Trenton to NYC. We read books for us to read, I sang songs by request, we looked out the window and talked about what we saw. A passenger was watching us and before she got off the train she told me that I was doing a great job with my daughter.

No, I'm not the greatest mom out there, and I'm sure Tallu would be a cheery, generally pleasant child even if she were in daycare. There are days when I don't think I can go on. . When strangers are impressed with the interactions I'm having with my child out in public, even on days I want to hand her to the first person I see, that's a good sign, cuz strangers are harsh critics. Hearing that your child expresses gratitude when she gets help is probably the best sign that I am not doing such a bad job.